On Nirvana and the Vatican

'Come as you are
as you were
as I want you to be.'

--Nirvana, ‘Come As You Are’

There has been much hubbub over the Vatican's now officially released statement on homosexuals and their fitness for the priesthood. The New York Times has done its best to drum up the culture war for the better part of a week. Andrew Sullivan is being his usual provocative, intelligent and moderately melodramatic self. One piece notable for both its intelligence and its lack of Doomsday tone was published by a leading Dominican in the British The Tablet.

In the interest of intellectual honesty, I should say up front that I disagree with not only this most-recent document, but with much of the Church’s teaching on homosexuality. That being said, I don’t find the release of this document a cause for total despair. Perhaps this is because I am straight. I can certainly understand why homosexual Catholics would be personally cut to the core by this in ways I can only begin to imagine. I hope that the moderate response to the document from the head of the US hierarchy indicates that local bishops will continue to exercise more pastoral wisdom than the Roman Curia has shown.

It is widely reported that Pope Benedict is a man of broad reading and learning, highly cultured, exposed to the intellectual currents of the world while rooted in the Roman Catholic tradition. Given the depth and nuance of much of his writing, the Grillmaster sees no reason to doubt this conclusion. I just never would have guessed he would have the grace to incorporate Kurt Cobain into Church instruction.

'Come as you are' is a downright Biblical directive. So far, so good. As fallen, broken humans, we all have to come as we are into God's presence. The promise of Christ's death and resurrection is that our disorder need not doom us to sowing only more pain in the world. Priests, those successors of Jesus' disciples on Earth today, have an even higher standard of honesty and humility to accept. They, and those considering joining their ranks, must offer up all their sin and human failures to God if they are to join in His service.

To its credit, the Vatican has always, and continues to, recognize the central importance of coming to the process of discernment as we are. This is why it closes the latest directive with a stern reminder that it would be a grave sin for candidates to the priesthood to lie to their spiritual directors or confessors about their sexual orientation. Come as you are is an open, liberating invitation, but it also comes with responsibility.

Unfortunately, the Vatican's decision to ban those with 'deep seated homosexual orientations' may weaken this essential principle of 'Come as you are.' The most honest seminarians, struggling with their sexual orientation and their call to celibacy, will indeed come as they are into the confessional. And they will be promptly sent packing for their honesty. Those more willing to sugar-coat their sexuality will stand the best chance for making it through this newly established gauntlet.

'Come as you were' also comes into play here in a somewhat perplexing way. The new policy allows seminarians to enter the priesthood who have experienced homosexual desires, provided that three years has elapsed since their time of sexual confusion. If, in the process of reaching ‘affective maturity’ the seminarian has overcome his homosexual episodes, then come on in! So long as you don’t support ‘the gay culture,’ whatever that is. The Grillmaster regularly watches The Simpsons and laughs at the homoerotic antics of the barely closeted Mr. Smithers and the officially-outed Patty. The Grillmistress will rest more easily knowing that this may disqualify me from ordination.

The goal of ordaining only those who have reached affective maturity is noble, but the awkward presence of a three year time period ignores the practical reality that all seminarians going through formation must struggle mightily with their sexuality. Straight and gay alike must grapple with sexual desire, and offer that desire up to God in His service.

What cuts to the core of my problems with this document is the last, disturbing line of Cobain’s famous refrain: ‘Come as I want you to be.’ It appears to me that some in the Vatican are revealing their deep desire for a homosexual-free Church. They may talk of the dignity of the homosexual person, but they clearly see such persons as so disordered as to render even their most noble attempts to serve God as a priest hopeless. Their very homosexual identity ‘gravely hinders them from relating correctly to men and women,’ to use the Vatican’s words. The more I ponder the complete lack of charity in that sentence and the disregard for the lives of thousands of celibate homosexual, the more upset I get.

There is nothing that men and women, gay and straight can relate to MORE than priests who can discuss their struggles with celibacy and sexuality in a mature manner. It is important that seminaries stand as distinct from the pervasive, sexually objectifying environment of modern Western society. This directive is the last way to go about that. Gay priests present eloquent testimony to the need to honestly confront our sexual natures, and offer them up to God. If the Vatican is serious about maintaining the celibate priesthood, it could use all such mature advocates it can get.