Alrighty class, it's time for the easiest game in the book: Which one doesn't belong! Pele, Johan Cryuff, Cobi Jones, and Heidi Klum. All were on stage to take part in the World Cup draw on Friday, but one isn't like the others...
Easy, you might say. Three are world class footballers. One is a super fly super model. Sure, Pele has filled out nicely in old age, but there's still only one The Grillmaster would want to see in a bikini. Exit stage right, Heidi, and straight into our dreams.
But not so fast, mes amis! For to judge by international press reaction to the US Team's prospects after the draw, it's apparent that the world still doesn't take any footballers from these 50 States seriously. They'd rather see Heidi Klum win the Cup than any ragtag bunch of Yanks. At least she's German.
Now the US did get a tough draw. Italy plays the beautiful game as do few others. The Czechs are a formidable side with lots of European experience. It will take top-notch football for any team to advance out of Group E.
But that's precisely what the US has been playing for the past four years! We outplayed Germany in the quarterfinal loss in 2002. We have firmly supplanted Mexico as the power of North American soccer, Mexico's inexplicable top ranking be damned. We've climbed to the world top 10, and will field a team that is both relatively young and with serious World Cup experience. The US may have been slightly disheartened by its draw, but you can bet that Italy, the Czechs, and Ghana were none too happy to see us in their segment of the tournament.
Or perhaps they were happy. Perhaps they're every bit as arrogant and dismissive as the international press, which has already declared that Italy and the Czechs will advance with ease. That's our best hope. Underestimate and dismiss all you want. We'll comfort ourselves with the knowledge that this is the best chance ever for the US to make big noise in the one tournament that we're never supposed to win. That and knowing that Heidi Klum comes to America when it's time to pose for swimsuit issues.
